found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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