She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
