I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
