I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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