Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
