Joe is yelling at the trees again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
