You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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