Is it because I queefed?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize
