Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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