I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We need to get me chipped asap
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
