non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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