i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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