I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
