It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
