Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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