i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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