dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize