She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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