If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
