Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.