Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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