Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize