I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
