Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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