I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
