So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
