she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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