I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm always down for nudity.
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