I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
