My room smells like vodka and shame
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
