On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
