What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
