you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
