On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
People in love make me want to vomit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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