i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
