She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
