The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he thought i was a dude.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
