I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
