You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
