Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
