I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
