Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
