his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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