Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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