I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
