But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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