The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize