I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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