seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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