garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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