So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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