I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
