wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
