So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
