He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
