When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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