Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We have started to decorate penises.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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