I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
