I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
