This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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