the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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