when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
