id be glad to
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
